apparently taylor swift is my soul sister cause every word in this entire album is so where i am. numbers 2, 4, 8, 10 and 13 are like woah. i was sold when i heard the lyrics "loving you is like driving a new maseriti down a dead end street." im pretty much profesh at doomed relationships these days so the intense, passionate, toxic love she describes just speaks to me. and she is cute as hell. that, too. 


moved to dc. stop. thriving. stop.



i have a really great group of deaf friends here that i dont play with near as much as i want to. so when i was invited to havasupai i knew i had to go... even though i loathe camping. it ended up being even more than i bargained for. i had to try really hard not to cry on multiple occasions. i will never (mark my words) do something like this again. tyler was bit by a scorpion, sam almost stepped on a rattle snake, lindsay broke her foot, chris crashed brents car, linday ran out of gas and sams car lit on fire. also, it was hot. and there were bugs.
turns out i can interpret music for 11 hours without missing a beat. 

the girlies

mooney falls

the whole cray crew

the fourth in dc

i know i have abandoned this bloggy. i kinda feel like i share my life on insta and then have nothing else to talk about on here. thus- it seems this blog has become insta dump or silence. today it is insta dump. 

i briefly mentioned on a guest post i did that i have set a date to move to dc. that date is august 5th. i am completely terrified. and yet so very sure of how right this is for me. i went to visit last week to get some contracts set up for work, find a place to live, and to spend the fourth the best way i could think of- in our nations capital with my beautiful friends. when i came home on sunday i had to tell myself that i was visiting utah and would be back home in dc in a few weeks. i kept looking at my friends as we would drive past the white house or washington monument and saying "we live here." 

taking full advantage of the senators rooftop pool

mt vernon with my (patriotic) girls

independence eve with meggles


russia: the ballet

i was trained in russian classical ballet so this was high up there on the bucket list. the brief synopsis i emailed to my sister: The male prima was amazing! At half time the boys were schooling the girls bad. But the chicas proved themselves when in the third quarter they finally went en pointe. I caught a few people wobble landings form pirouettes but besides that it was flawless. Although we trained classical I noticed two huge differences: when leaping their back leg never leaves attitude  and when they beat from pique their leg only comes in half way. It felt so... wrong. But who am I to argue with Marius Petipa?! Also, the intermission was 45 minutes sandwiched between two 30 minute performances. Vodka is apparently the most important part of the evening. Gary wasn't too pleased with the seats or that ac hasn't moved east. I, however, was thrilled with the entire experience.

russia: two of these kids will grow up to be fabulous

this is probably a good time to mention that mark pulls this pose when he is being patted down by tsa. 

more fabulousness. 

this is how russian couples pose. we didnt get it but thought we should do our best to be culturally appropriate. 

* if you dont get the title click here. that kid is bound for success.

russia: day one

my twin brother/bff has been living in russia for the past six months. my mom, her husband, and i went to pick him up last week and it was just amazing. marky really loved it there; im surprised we got him to come home with us! russia has so. much. history. the place is fascinating! i am a lover of learning and it was a perfect place for me to be out of my element and in a culture i knew so little about. 

my favorite place in all of russia: church of our savior on spilled blood.

(for everyones information: in ballet, my hyperextension was coveted. girlfriend could leap. but in real life i just end up looking awkwardly similar to a gazelle. uncanny even.)

my buddy antone. i shit you not, he drank a red bull for breakfast. 

dinner at romanovs. cellar-like restaurants are my fave. 


cancun 2012 (aka my fb album for those who arent my fb friends)

with bff raych... pretty much my reason for living.

we didnt last a single night before we stripped off our clothes and ran screaming into the black ocean

we call these babies chimichangas. they like ice cream. and breathing in rachels ear. 

midnight beach run with megsies. in love with that one. 
i cant tell you how many hearts i captured in that swimsuit.
(actually i can. zero. which had no effect whatsoever on how freagin happy it made me.)

tulum ruins with my girls

i really really love when joshy dresses like a douche to go dancing.

oh hey girl hey

i only eat meat on special occasions. vacation is one of those occasions. so if you suggest a bacon cheeseburger at 6am as we are leaving mehico, i will prob take you up on it. 

this day was my favorite. becca isnt super great at unwinding, but i did for some reason on that beach and my soul said AHH.

tour guide nathan. and megan interpreting for no deaf patrons. we dont discriminate, people.

oh. i love them. just a little bit. 


this is a real photo

bff luca was cleaning pucks off the ice during half time at the BYU/UVU game and totally ate shit. 
and i caught it on camera. 

(some mornings i look at this photo and remind myself that if luca can get up after biffing it in front of 7,000 people, i can at least get up and brush my teeth.)



this isnt a fashion blog.

i mean, im not horrible to look at (hello daily affirmations!) but im also more into books than looks. one of my very oldest friends is sister to natalie of (no) sex in the city. today she wrote something that spoke truth to me. like a testimony, but for fashion. ready?

1) all colors match.
2) we are all skinny enough to wear colored jeans.
3) neon jeans are best.

in the name of jesus christ, amen.



this site makes me so so happy. (nothing makes me crazy like a pessimist!)   the whole site is like a breath of fresh air... gives me the strength and peace i need to keep going :)

psst....check out homeboy industries on the top right. i ate at one of their locations last summer in malibu. so cool.




is this thing on?

i know i have been gone for a while. you can find me on insta or pinterest. 
truth is, i used to feel obligated to blog. i felt i needed to document my life for me- and for you. i needed to keep everyone up to date. but since the divorce i have just kinda done whatever the hell i wanted. which hasnt been blogging. i am doing well. making lots of healthy choices to set me up for an awesome future. soon i will have lots to blog about.

if i feel like it :) 



i am for reals really upset i dont live in seattle. they are building a food forest. i might die.

please please click over to racyh's blog to read this inspiring post? it fills my soul.

have you ever read something and been so happy that someone else had the right words to explain what you have been feeling? holly explains my anxiety to. a. T. if you or anyone you know (ahem thats all of us) suffers from anxiety, i highly suggest you take a gander.

my brother always finds the coolest shit. i am leagues behind him. and how cute is that chic!


featured first

why yes, that is the first diamond ring i bought myself

the lovely/amazing/beautiful/fabulous duo that is kristine and devon asked me to guest post for their featured first series. hello- i was tickled. head over to their bloggy to hear about what i have been doing while neglecting this blog. also- there might be an announcement tucked in there. 



deep inside my soul, there are books

photo by carole rene

(a groupon for a hypnotherapy/massage/foot bath afternoon came up right after we filed so i snatched that baby up. and then i was like, wait.... what is hypnotherapy? i thought it sounded kinda weird but was happy to give it a try because it came with a massage. it turns out it was really cool. they say that you get as much from one hypnotherapy appointment as you do from several traditional therapy appointments. they relax you until you are able to work on really deep issues that you may not be able to work on regularly. it kinda felt like being drunk  because i knew what i was doing and could completely control myself but also let go of all my inhibitions. i have debated telling you about my experience because it came from a very deep place inside me. i finally decided to share because i learned so much about myself and about life in general. while i think that traditional therapists are irreplaceable and would recommend one to anyone, i will also always cherish the things i learned on my little journey. the part i want to share with you is a special place that my mind created and i hope that it will benefit you as well. )

my hypnotherapist told me to build a beautiful safe place that was just for me and then asked to be invited in. it was in the woods on a sunny day. a soft wind blew creaky gates. the pressures and problems of the world were gone. i rested on a blanket and drank mint limeade out of a glass jar while the sun kissed my cheeks and my puppies raced around me. my home there was a run-down library covered in vines and dust. and there were books lined on each wall. the colors on their spines were once bold in their young age but were now pale from the sun: their pages were stained like tea.

i was able to read these books to escape from my world for a while and relish in other peoples lives and experiences. there was one part of the house, way up high, that was my section. my stories. some were happy and some were sad but they were all mine. i would often reread them and remember the ups and downs that i had experienced. i read to help me remember what made me me. the most lovely part was that i could write books as well. they were written in pen and ink with big loopy cursive letters. i confessed everything in my books and neatly filed away my memories. but as i did, i was able to release the burdens that i carried. many of the books were not happy. many had tears on their pages. they would always be part of the mosaic that is me. but i didnt have to carry them around. i didnt have to carry their guilt and sadness and i surely did not need them with me all the time. but they were filed away if i ever needed them. or perhaps if one of you wanted to borrow a book from my library.